My Brother
by silvermoongirl10
Summary: AU from the ending of 'Reap the Whirlwind Part 2'. Cal survives the attack with Scott Ellison, but Ethan is still terrified that he could still loose his brother and that his niece will have to grow up without her father (This fic is also an AU in that Matilda was Cal's daughter). Ethan can't bear the thought of living without his brother, but then he finds out why Cal was injured.


**A/N So like many people 'Reap the Whirlwind Part 2' really shook me. Cal had been one of my favourite characters and I was really sad to see him die, so I decided to follow on from other people and I wrote this AU of what if Cal hadn't died.**

 **I do have to warn you, this is my first story since October due to** ** _massive_** **writers block. I physically haven't been able to write any of my story ideas for any of the fandoms I write for, so please bear with me. I'm not totally happy with this story but it's been on my computer since Cal died at the end of the episode, and I've been slowly working on it. So I just decided today was the day to post this story, before I never posted it anywhere.**

 **Also this is the very first** ** _Casualty_** **fic I have written, so we'll see how this goes shall we?**

 **(I've given this a quick read through, but I've got work tomorrow morning so I'll come back and edit any mistakes, hopefully there aren't any :P)**

* * *

"Where's Cal?" were the first words out of Ethan's mouth as he walked into the ED. Looking wide eyed at Dylan, not seeing his brother stood there set him on edge. Knowing that there was something wrong, evidenced by Max coming to get him, and not seeing Cal stood beside Dylan told Ethan only one thing. Whatever was wrong concerned his older brother.

"He was attacked," said Dylan as he began to walk Ethan towards RESUS.

"A…attacked?" Ethan's heart jumped to his throat and began to pound loudly in his ears. Suddenly his mind raced, different situations playing before his eyes. It had been about forty-five minutes since he had seen Cal, what could have _possibly_ happened to him in that short time? Cal still had to finish his shift, what could have _happened_? "What do you mean?"

"Well…we don't really know. We did what we could," continued Dylan. He stopped, and Ethan walked past him in a daze.

"Where's Cal?" he repeated, he was beginning to become desperate. Why could no one answer his question? All he wanted to know was where his brother was, and no one had told him. All he knew was that his brother had been attacked and Dylan's words echoed around his head. _We did what we could_. How many times had he told relatives that very thing? He said it when a patient's prognoses did not look good, or when…No. He wasn't going to go there. Cal wasn't…he couldn't.

Then he stopped himself, a few feet from the doors of RESUS and found himself looking at Charlie. Looking past Charlie, and through the glass of the doors, he saw a figure lying on a bed with Connie, Elle, Jacob, Duffy and Louise stood around it. His eyes flickered back to Charlie.

Charlie took a breath, and his next words would haunt Ethan for a very long time. "Cal was found stabbed." Ethan gasped and moved around Charlie, ignoring the hand that was outstretched to stop him. "You shouldn't go in just yet. Not just yet…"

However, Ethan continued to move and then found himself in RESUS looking at the figure in Bay Four, and couldn't comprehend that he was looking at his brother. Cal's face was pale, his hair soaked, his eyes were closed and a sheet, covered in blood, was pulled up to his chest.

The sound that escaped him was a cross between a sigh and a sob. Connie swiftly came to his side, and with a gentle hand on his shoulder she softly spoke. "He is stable for now, he'll be going up to theatre any minute, but I have to warn you Ethan. It doesn't look good."

Ethan pulled his eyes away from Cal to look at Connie. "What are his injuries?"

Connie shook her head, "You don't want to know Ethan. As a Doctor, knowing his injuries will only make it worse for you."

He nodded, seeing sense in her words, but he couldn't see what could be worse than what he was feeling now. He slowly and haltingly approached his brother, and once he'd reached the side of the bed, his raised a hand and it shook above his brother. He jumped as Elle's hand gently held his and lowered his hand until it touched Cal's shoulder.

"He's unconscious," Elle softly said, "But he's still here."

Ethan gulped and nodded; he crouched over the bed some more until he was level with Cal's head. "I'm here Cal," he whispered, his voice cracking, as he moved his hand until it brushed Cal's wet hair from his forehead. "I'm here."

He stood there silently until it was time for Cal to be taken up to theatre. As he began to follow his brother upstairs, he paused and stared at Charlie, "Matilda!" he exclaimed, he checked his watch. "The crèche will be closing soon…"

Charlie nodded and wrapped an arm around Ethan's shoulders. "I'll go with Cal and wait upstairs for you, while you go an get Matilda."

While Ethan was nodding, he still felt torn. He wanted to be with his brother, but he knew without a doubt, that Cal would want him to be the one to get Matilda. With a quick glance at Cal as his bed was pushed into the lift, he then ran up the stairs to the crèche.

Soon he was walking through the corridors with Matilda held in his arms and her bag slung over his shoulders. He couldn't help but smile seeing Matilda's eyes wide with amazement as she was carried through corridors she had never seen before. As he passed by small private rooms for admitted patients, he suddenly stopped, just stopping himself from crashing into Iain.

"Oh sorry Ethan," apologized Iain in shock, as he found himself catching the wall so as not to fall backwards. He frowned as Ethan opened and closed his mouth without saying anything and his eyes red rimmed with a haunted look. "What's wrong?" asked Iain, knowing that Ethan wouldn't bring Matilda with him to visit Lily.

"It's Cal," whispered Ethan, "He's been taken to theatre…he was st…st…stabbed."

Iain eyes widened in surprise and then nodding to himself, he slung an arm around Ethan's shoulders and began guiding Ethan upstairs. As they walked, Ethan was lost inside his head, barely listening as Matilda chatted happily with Iain, not knowing that her father was fighting for his life.

When they met Charlie in the waiting room, Ethan's legs suddenly couldn't hold himself anymore and he crashed down into the nearest chair. Iain quickly took Matilda and carried her over to the other side of the room, as Charlie sat beside Ethan and brought the younger man into a hug as he shook and tried not to cry, so his niece wouldn't hear him.

Charlie followed Ethan's gaze, which rested on Matilda. "Have you told her?"

Ethan shook his head as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, "No. I don't know what to tell her… I'm just going to wait until we know whether…whether Cal is going to be okay…" His face crumpled and he brought his hands up to cover his face. In his mind he kept going over what had happened to Cal, and the thought that his brother had to face that ordeal alone physically pained him. He and his brother didn't always see eye to eye, but at the end of the day, they were brothers and not only that. Cal was the father of an eighteen-month-old daughter who almost lost her father tonight, and still could. Looking over and seeing Iain smile as Matilda patted his head, almost cracked him open. Not just two days ago, Cal had been laughing and joking with Iain, patting the paramedic on the head as he walked away. Sometimes Matilda was so much like her father, in looks and personality that usually it was endearing to Ethan, but today, it reminded him of what they both could loose.

"I can't loose him Charlie," he whispered, and after another look at Matilda he added, "Neither of us can loose him."

"I know," nodded Charlie, and he gripped Ethan's shoulder gently, "I know."

* * *

Hours later, Ethan wasn't sure how many; he was sat slumped in his chair, Charlie still beside him offering silent support. Iain was sat across from him, Matilda asleep in his arms, her mood had become more subdued the more she saw Ethan almost crying and making no move to talk to her, which told her that something was wrong and she was becoming more nervous the longer she went without seeing her dad.

Footsteps had Ethan jumping out of his chair to face the surgeon. "How is Cal?" he asked, clenching his hands into fists to try and stop them from shaking.

"He's stable, we've stopped the bleeding and repaired the damage to his lung," commented the surgeon, "But, as you know as a Doctor, the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours are critical. We may think we've fixed everything, but we won't know yet. There's the possibility we may have to go back in, but for now I'm happy with Cal's condition. He is sedated for now while we have him on a ventilator, just as a precaution."

Ethan was nodding, understanding that his brother wasn't completely out of the wood yet. "Can I see him?"

Smiling, the surgeon nodded, "Yes you can, but it will only be for a short while and then I suggest you go home and come back tomorrow."

Ethan wanted to refuse, but he saw the sense in what the surgeon was saying, and silently agreed that he should go home, if only for Matilda's sake.

When he walked into the small private room, he could not help but just stare at his brother's face. The hissing of the ventilator as it breathed for Cal made him pause, _how did it come to this? How did everything go so wrong so quickly?_

Slowly he approached the bed, his eyes began to water, and blinking only made the tears fall down his face. "Cal?" he asked, which was silly, he knew his brother wouldn't answer. Couldn't right now. He crouched beside Cal's head and gently ran his fingers through Cal's hair.

"Just hang in there okay?" he sniffed, "I can't loose you, and neither can Matilda…but I know you wouldn't leave her willingly." He bent his head and sniffled into his free hand. Looking up again, through his now blurred eyes, he murmured, "Just get better okay?" He pressed his forehead against Cal's and then he stood and walked out of the room brushing the tears from his eyes. He couldn't let Matilda see him upset. When he reached the waiting room it was to discover that it had been decided that Charlie was going to drive him and Matilda home, once they had gotten Matilda's car seat out of Cal's car.

While he put Matilda to bed, his heart broke seeing her look behind his shoulder for her dad. Usually, unless he had a night shift, Cal would always put Matilda to bed with a story and a song, well that normally turned into two of each due to Cal being unable to say no to his daughter. Ethan would normally stand in the doorway and watch, relaxed to see his brother and niece giggling and smiling at each other.

"When's daddy coming home?" murmured a sleepy Matilda, rubbing her eyes and trying to stifle a yawn.

Ethan smiled sadly, "When he's better sweetheart, remember I said daddy is really poorly. So he has to stay at the hospital." She nodded sadly, and then curled up as her eyes slipped closed and she fell asleep. Ethan sat and watched her for a little while, smiling as she snuffled in her sleep, thinking it far cuter than her father's snores. But he wished with everything he had that Cal was snoring away on the sofa, life without his brother would be no life at all really.

* * *

It had been two days since Cal's attack and Ethan was sat at his brother's bedside, Cal was off the ventilator and so it was just a matter of waiting for Cal to wake up. Ethan stared at his hands, beginning to find it harder and harder to look at his unconscious brother, it still felt like he could loose his brother at any moment. Every time he looked up, expecting to see his brother's eyes flickering open and not seeing that, physically hurt. He didn't know how much more he could take.

"Eth…" came a hoarse whisper from the bed.

Wide-eyed Ethan shifted his gaze and found himself looking at Cal; whose eyes were open in half slits.

"Cal!" he exclaimed as he grasped onto Cal's right arm, trying to understand if this was really happening. He pressed the assistance button to let the nurses know his brother was awake.

"Eth...okay?..." mumbled Cal, his eyes blinking as he fought to keep himself awake.

"It's okay," said Ethan, his voice cracking, "You're okay, its all going to be okay."

Cal breathed out softly as he fell asleep. Even though he was smiling in relief, Ethan began to cry in earnest, bending forward so his head rested on his arms that were placed on the bed. Cal had been awake, he had talked and most importantly in that moment Ethan knew he hadn't lost his brother.

* * *

Three days later, Cal was awake for longer periods during the day and due to this he wasn't disorientated anymore meaning a very important person could visit for the first time. Ethan was sat in the chair at Cal's beside as Iain brought Matilda into the room, all the staff in the E.D. had been helping out by babysitting for Ethan so he could stay with Cal.

"Daddy!" shrieked Matilda, her arms outstretched as she began to squirm in Iain's arms, desperate to get to her dad.

Ethan helped Cal into a better sitting position, just in time for Matilda to be placed in her dad's lap. With a murmured reminder to be careful of her dad, Matilda wrapped her little arms fiercely around her dad's neck. Cal smiled as he hugged his little girl to him and nuzzled her sweet smelling hair.

"Hello sweetheart," he murmured.

"I've missed you lots and lots daddy," mumbled Matilda, as she leaned back and pressed her cheek against her dad's. Cal pulled her tighter and Ethan watched as tears began to form in his brother's eyes, he leaned forward and squeezed Cal's shoulder, smiling comfortingly.

Too soon, in Ethan's opinion, a nurse came and told them that the police wanted to speak to Cal about his attack. Sensing that Ethan didn't want to leave Cal and make him sit through re-living his attack alone, Iain gently took Matilda from her dad's arms. She struggled until Cal and Iain promised her she could come back once the police had left.

It was difficult for both of the brothers as the police questioned Cal. After hearing Cal had left a voicemail on his phone, Ethan took out his phone and played it for the police and then found himself feeling sick. It was his fault. Cal was saving him from Scott Ellison, meaning that _he_ was the reason for Cal's attack. The police left with his phone as evidence and the promise that they would arrest Scott Ellison. But Ethan was numb to their words; the knowledge that it was his fault Cal almost died was spinning around and around his head.

His breathing hitched, causing Cal to turn and look at him.

"You okay?" asked Cal, his arms were crossed, looking almost as if he was trying to stop himself from falling apart from telling what had happened.

"No I'm _not_!" stressed Ethan, his hands clenched into fists, "I almost lost my brother! So no. _I'm not okay_."

"Eth-"

Ethan ignored his brother and the sad look on Cal's face. "If you had died it would have been my _fault_!" His voice cracked on the last word, he took a shuddering breath and added, "If you had died, I would have watched Matilda grow up without her dad, knowing it was because of _me_. Knowing that one day I would have to tell her she didn't know her dad because he died _because of me_."

Cal reached out and grabbed his little brother's arm. "Stop Ethan."

"No I won't 'stop', because you did something so _stupid_ , it was completely unnecessary-," snapped Ethan,

"It wasn't _unnecessary_!" exclaimed Cal, his eyes wide with anger. "I knew Scott was going to do something, so you're saying I should have just stepped back and let him _murder you_? Ignoring the fact that my brother was in danger. And don't you _dare_ bring Matilda into this! What was I going to do? Let her grow up and say 'sorry sweetie, you don't know your Uncle Ethan because I didn't stop him getting killed."

The monitor started to blare acknowledging Cal's raised heartbeat. Ethan immediately felt bad; Cal was only worked up because of him. "Cal, you need to calm down."

" _No_. What I need, is to stop hearing my brother telling me off for protecting him," commented Cal tersely. His gaze fixed on the wall opposite him, breathing heavily as he calmed down. Ethan watched the monitor anxiously, relaxing when he saw everything back to normal.

He reached for his brother and squeezed Cal's hand, "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I was just terrified that I was going to loose you, and I know I would have done exactly the same thing if Scott had been after you."

Cal smiled softly, "I'm sorry to, I shouldn't be mad at you for what you said. I would have done what you've just done," he admitted with a small shrug.

Ethan leaned forward to hug Cal as tightly as he dared without fear of hurting his brother. "Now we've established that we're both sorry and that we were worried. I'm really glad you're okay."

"I'm glad to," replied Cal as he leaned his head against Ethan's, "I didn't want to leave you and Matilda alone."

Squeezing Cal's shoulder, Ethan smiled widely, "Well you haven't."

Minutes later, Iain brought Matilda back into the room, and she spent the rest of the afternoon alternating between the laps of her dad and uncle. She chattered away excitedly as Cal and Ethan grinned at her and each other. Everything would soon be back to normal, and that was exactly how Ethan wanted it.

* * *

 **A/N So that's the end, it does feel rushed to me so I am tempted to write a second chapter about Cal's recovery at home and his return to work, but I don't know. We'll see. I definitely won't rule it out, but I won't definitely say I'll do it.**

 **Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it!**


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